How the Stages of Grief Can Explain the ADHD Diagnosis Journey

After you’ve been diagnosed, the real work begins. Not only for you, but your family as well. One can compare the journey most of us go through after diagnosis to the stages of grief. 

According to Healthline there are 7 stages of grief:

• Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.

• Pain and guilt. You may feel that the loss is unbearable and that you’re making other people’s lives harder because of your feelings and needs.

• Anger and bargaining. You may lash out, telling God or a higher power that you’ll do anything they ask if they’ll only grant you relief from these feelings.

• Depression. This may be a period of isolation and loneliness during which you process and reflect on the loss.

• The upward turn. At this point, the stages of grief like anger and pain have died down, and you’re left in a more calm and relaxed state.

• Reconstruction and working through. You can begin to put pieces of your life back together and carry forward.

• Acceptance and hope. This is a very gradual acceptance of the new way of life and a feeling of possibility in the future.

 While it’s true that grief is universal, ADHD is not, but the stages a person goes through to get over loss can be compared to the stages we’ll all go through after our ADHD diagnosis. The timeline of your progress through those stages can be months, or years, even. I was diagnosed at age 6, but I wouldn’t say I truly accepted it until recently, at 40. 

There are countless articles across the web that can tell you how the stages of grief apply to this area. I’m going to share my own experience so it might shed some light on your own.